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Some features may not be available with Javascript disabled! Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse. GoodRightTwo.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. MindTryingPeople.

I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair. HairKissJust. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar.

Famous Quotes, Great Quotes

I figure two good lies make a positive. PositiveGoodMen. Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race. TimeFutureBicycle. A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. ListenPessimistPerson. I think stutterers are funny.

And I know it's rude and politically incorrect to laugh at stutterers. But I think it is okay because I know why they're funny. They make people nervous.

People think, when on earth are they going to get the word out, so they start laughing out of their own nervousness. LaughEarthPeople. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? WouldWereWearing.

Mark Twain: Speculation Stocks - Money Quotes Daily Money Quotes Daily

Funny enough, if rbi exchange rates india are looking at people these days who are putting Botox in their face and getting all sorts of kgb work from home jobs surgery, we look at them and go, I can tell you've had Botox.

I can tell you've had plastic surgery. You look really strange to me. But no one's saying anything. We're writing binary options accepting the fact that they're strange-looking.

LookingPeopleLook. Turns out you have a really fun time if you go to work willy wonka stock market day and focus on being silly and funny and happy! WorkTimeHappy. Quotes stock market mark twain I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise.

I AmLookingBlessing. If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? MindCleanDesk. Communism is like one big phone company. CommunismPhoneBig. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. TimeI AmMan. Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing.

Mark Twain's $4 Million Mistake -- The Motley Fool

You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate. YouTroubleMatter.

Quote by Mark Twain: “October: This is one of the peculiarly dangerou”

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. TaxDeadYear. The human brain is a funny thing: You put the right words to it, and it becomes very influential.

WordsBrainYou. I find, when you're an optimist, life has a funny way of looking after you. LifeLookingWay. I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being MyselfBeing MyselfPeople.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. GlassIceFalling.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. DayWalkingKnow.

For sheer sexiness, a man must be beautiful. BeautifulManClever.

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. MindYouMatter. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. LuckWayHonest. Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long. ProgressLongGone. It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. ManBelieveAverage. Recommended Topics Inspirational Quotes. Social BQ on Facebook.